Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Life in Gurgaon (or the lack of it)

pssst..scroll down for the latest clippings.

Gurgaon - the city of spires, towering buildings, swank malls, etc., etc., etc., is also the much-hated, much-despised city with no transport, no water, no electricity, high rentals, horrid people, the list goes on and on and on and on. My hate for this city cannot be measured in terms of words - in fact, words run dry to express my hatred for this godforsaken so-called 'city.' There's plenty that's to be said here in this group.

I am surprised how this city is surviving. It is perhaps the biggest eyewash that an individual can fall prey to. On the outside of it all is glamour and glory, but the inside is as hollow as an empty barrel of wine. There is nothing in this city that might attract an individual to settle down here - no parks, no recreational facilities, dust and dirt seem to be the order of the day, horrible summers, extremely chilly winters (not that I mind those), once again the list can go on and on and on.

What's perhaps one of the most unique and differentiating features of the culture of this place is the people. Crude, dishonest, rustic, out to make a quick buck, rude, abusive, alcoholic, desperate, wannabe, woman-ogling, spineless - these are the first few adjectives that come to mind immediately.

There's one characteristic feature about this city that will remind you of your 'desh ki dharti'. Yes, you guessed it right - dust, 'dhool', 'mitti'. It is present in abundance and will get in your face and eyes even if you don't want it to. Very generous of the government and the numerous money-greedy builders all around the 'city'. If dust was money, Gurgaon is the 'golden goose' of the world. It flies everywhere and anywhere. Now, I don't blame the weather gods for dust storms, since that is a natural phenomenon and there's very little we can do about it. But, a constant dust storm and a manmade one at that is just too much to digest. People are sure to die of some form of lung disease if they stay for long in this 'city'.

Another interesting feature about this place are the traffic lights - or once again, as the subject of this blog post is - the absence of it. There are no traffic lights. Kids, if you decide to take the car out for a spin and bang the car, blame it on the lights - they NEVER work!

The administration (read 'the police') is virtually non-existent. Oh, am sorry - yes, they do turn up at traffic signals once in a hot, sultry afternoon only to fleece passers-by and owner driven cars for some excuse or the other. It seems that these rascals survive on bribes and bribes alone. I personally, have been a party to their indiscipline. It so happened that at about midnight one Saturday, my car was involved in an accident and I promptly called up '100' to report the matter. The response I got from a yawning, sleepy, lackadaisical, hopeless thing called a policeman, was that it was too late at night and that noone could come at this hour. Therefore, I should probably try and come the next day some time around 10 AM. It's a different matter that my car is not running at all and I can't move it forward or backward. Next time folks, if you are in Gurgaon, and you see someone commit a murder, don't bother reporting it - they'll ask the dead person to walk into the police station the next day after taking a bath and washing all that blood off.

What worries me immensely is the sheer feeling of insecurity and absence of security one can see all around them. When the administration can be so careless and non-bothered. If you've been (un)fortunate enough to visit any of the commercial offices/complexes in this city, there are security guards who seem to think no end of themselves and are rude and ill-mannered to the core apart from having absolutely no education whatsoever. These fellows stand across each other holding a rope in their hand to allow/disallow unauthorized cars to enter the building. Ropes! to stop cars. Ropes! I realized the day that I reached this place that we are just sitting ducks waiting to be hit by a major terrorist attack. I wonder what these terrorist groups are doing bombing Jaipur and Hyderabad. Gur(Bad)Gaon is a city with a large gentry of people working in MNCs and feature one of the largest populations of expats in the country. Wait - what am I doing here? Giving dope to these terrorist outfits! Then again, Gurgaon deserves it. Just not with the people from outside of this place in it.

If you decide to live in this place even after reading all this - please write back to me at
hefspeak@gmail.com. I will write a wonderful eulogy for you in advance and free of cost.

If you decide to get out of this place after reading this post or at least have the desire to move out - you too must write back to me at hefspeak@gmail.com so that I know that I am not alone in this world and in my views. I promise to publish the best views for/against Gurgaon.

Yeh Hef ka vaada hai - tootega nahi!

...and here's the latest from the 'Millenium City'

tip - right click, 'save as...' and then enjoy it in it's full g(l)ory.


A linkback that I got from a gentleman who shares my hatred for Gurgaon :)

Posting the translated version (courtesy: Google Translate) from Polish http://myindiaexperience.wordpress.com/category/gurgaon/

Coming here I knew more or less behind zapowiadało be quite so nice ... And how is it really?
Gurgaon to Manhattan to the trash. All of these elegant office buildings wyrastają with clouds of dust, which of the ubiquitous construction sites wciska in each slit. Evenings, in the light of headlamps and riksz cars on the highway you can see only orange cloud. Dust settling everywhere, in the closet, on a bed, even in the office .. not to mention the black after one day kołnierzykach or shoes, which must be cleaned up twice a day to look decently.

Around the office is clean and neatly, but only twenty meters away, starts the biggest brothel the world - people sleeping together with cows and dogs on the narrow road separating the compartments, dumps which every twenty meters along the roads, of which fear stalls packed to buy water, not to mention about food, which przyrządzają on-site mixing dough hands, without any sanitary facilities and who later also eat with bare, nieumytymi hands.

If all the cities in India are chaotic, to Gurgaon is all that is worst in India. But businessmen from Microsoft, Oracle, Alcatel, IBM, PwC whether Ericsonna do not feel - air-conditioned office - air-conditioned car (with driver) - air-conditioned house. A class.

However, one can not fail to notice it. Traffic jams. Therein lies everyone - if you 're going to Delhi in peak hours, count on the fact that, despite the highway (for quite a standard), this may take 2 hours. Gurgaonu infrastructure is - does not have sidewalks, roads are holes, too small, or is not at all. Current sits down every few hours, and on Tuesdays, all shops are closed by law to reduce its consumption. The water disappears and is generally niepijalna. After each major rain, the streets become rivers because there is no low tide, and then śmierdzą krowimi gut and remnants degradable food and dogs. Fortunately, we have said that it's cool - najzimniej for years - the temperature does not exceed 35 degrees.

It is difficult to understand why all these companies have chosen Gurgaon on the location - but this is - this basin white and blue kołnierzyków. I malli - there are already several (Nasci?) And still produces more. But there is nothing more - some kondominiów, Malle and offices. A wild and trash around the market (which goes to one). Forget about parks, walking Aleje, cafes, Poland said that the wild capitalism. If so - invite you to Gurgaonu.

As someone enough - I recommend Hefner ...

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He probably meant "as someone who has experienced Gurgaon enough and hates it to the core"..."I recommend Hefner"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

lol, this translator is quite good I must say. ;) regards
Jacek (gentelman who shares hatred)

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