Name Change? Vote Now!

In the afternoon today, I was trying to see if hefspeak.com was up for grabs so that I could register my domain and have some ads run on my site (no harm in making some money while I write - right?). Fortunately, I found that the domain name 'hefspeak.com' was available and would have cost me only INR 349/year. I was about to press the checkout button and key in my credit card details, when I heard a voice behind me, which said "What are you buying?' That, ladies and gentlemen, was my wife who keeps track of each and every move I make without letting me know at all times.

I explained my intent to her and asked her if it made sense for me to buy a domain name or not for the reason I pointed out above + the fact that it would look good - "Visit hefspeak.com for more details..." She seemed to buy the idea, but jokingly added "What's the point in having a website whose name I cannot even disclose to my parents?" I was stumped. I mean - although I have explained that Hefner was a name given to me by my colleagues at work in Hyderabad, does it still come across as a name that is too self-praising (or not), adulterous, vain, vulgar, difficult to believe, or am I just imagining too much?

While most of us netizens who are familiar with the ways of the Internet would understand why I have a pseudo-name, would the people who are on the other side of the fence and more particularly, the older generation think of me as a sleazy Indian male pornstar? This might be an insignificant fraction of all the people who might read this blog or even have heard about it, but just thinking out loud here... would it make sense for me to blog in my own name rather than call myself Hef?

Keeping in trend with the times (election time), vote to the right and let me know what you think.

~ Hef (or maybe not)

Santa Minus Banta

Merry Christmas to one and all who read this post (and don't). It's funny when you think about the fact that we Indians are such a sentimental race of people. When the US Economy plunges into disaster... so do we; when the World Trade Center gets hit...we feel the pain; when Obama gets elected...we celebrate; when it's Christmas...we spread the cheer.

Maybe it's this quality that keeps us apart from the rest of the world. The constant habit of wondering and being worried about what's going on in our neighbour's house as compared to our own has kept us going strong into this new millenium. Aping the West has truly never been more apt and truer to use in the sense of the word.

Anyway, coming back to the topic - there are certain things I like about Christmas. Here's a list of things I love about this time:

• I especially like the fact that it's a holiday and I can get out from bed when I feel like and not because of the compulsion of going to work. 
• I love the fact that there's something special in the air around this time and New Year's. 
• Noone works... everyone is planning a holiday or a visit back home.
• Bagging the last minute shopping deals meted out by every store (and industry) in the world.
• Great Bollywood, and where available, Hollywood releases.
• This song - Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree. Might be a little late in the post, but let this song keep playing in the background while you read this post and you'll know what I'm talking about.
• The cold (unless you're in Mumbai or the Southern Hemisphere).
• The concept of Santa Claus.
• The excitement in Convent Schools where everyone is scuttling around to produce a play, sing Christmas carols, and get to eat cake at the end of it all.
• Schools/colleges breaking for Christmas and the New Year.
• The fact that we're only 6 days away from yet another Holiday.
• And finally, the belief that all that is good and fun originated in India (including Christmas) as wonderfully portrayed by this video.

Things I feel could be better about Christmas:

• Loud, blaring music from speakers (esp in Gurgaon - yuck!) belting out songs such as 'Zara Zara Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me', 'Jee Karda Bhai Jee Karda', at unbearable volume levels.
• People getting drunk unnecessarily and blaming it on the spirit of the times.
• Indigenous Radio channels converting 'Jingle Bells' into 'Jingle Beliye' (in Punjabi - beliye = lover).
• Elves of this sort (wait for the video to reach the fag end)
• Stupid kids expecting, nay demanding, that latest, hippest mobile phone device from Santa Claus (read parents).

Well - to each his own. Have a Merry Christmas!

~ H0 Ho Ho Hef.

How To Make A Fool Of Oneself

While everyone is writing about the Mumbai terrorist attacks, I just thought that it would make more sense for me to write on anything but that. It's funny how we tend to go overboard, over-sensationalizing an event. While I agree that it might have hurt a lot of people and it definitely did affect me too, it sometimes tends to get irritating that no matter which channel you watch, no matter which newspaper you read, no matter which blog you decide to track down, no matter which article you read on your Google Reader, it always comes back to the same thing - 'The Mumbai Terrorist Attacks'

I think it's high time people got along with their lives and figured out that they should do something in order to avoid a terrible situation like that, instead of writing about it of all things. Yes - there will be that initial reaction of the public to voice their opinion, or pen it down, but this can be effective only to a certain extent. Do your bit - and if you ask me that question, 'What can I do to change things' and don't have an answer for it, don't waste your time penning down your opinions, because frankly, they don't make a difference to anyone.

I am upset with the way we as a country have handled this debacle. Let's stop blaming the government for these things. Instead, we should at this time stand behind the government and resolve to take matters into our hands and deliver what is due to these enemies of society - destruction. Instead, here we are blaming Shivraj Patil, Vilasrao Deshmukh, and now, even Ram Gopal Varma for no reason whatsoever. Who could have foreseen such a situation. What wrong did Deshmukh do to walk in with his son and RGV - are they not citizens? Are they not concerned? Does the public really think that RGV was there just to figure out whether he could translate this incident into a movie...and even if he did - what's wrong with the thought?

This is exactly why we bear the brunt of these terrorist attacks time and again - it's the sheer lack of solidarity that we display to the entire world. We start pointing fingers at people and blaming them for any lapses. We are the same people who when frisked at malls/establishments, contort our faces and get irritated at the security agencies doing their jobs and exclaiming 'If I wanted to get a bomb in, would I put it in the boot of my car?' Well, guess what happened at the JW Marriott in Pakistan?

Let's stop pointing our phalanges towards other people and institutions and instead, be self conscious and start tolerating a little more than we do as described above. Remember, when you point a finger at someone else, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you. Be cognizant of the fact that all the commandoes of the world will not make a difference until and unless you yourself are dilligent and aware enough about your surroundings.

I am not trying to say in any way that these terrorist attacks could have been prevented. It could only have been done by God, if at all, for none of us have the foresight to predict such events. It's important for the citizens of this country to instead come together as a stolid figure and quash these terrorist attacks. Yes - there will be more attacks...it's a way of life and no security of any degree can prevent that. Maybe we too should go to war and wipe out all the fanatic Islam outfits that exist in the world and maybe even get rid of Pakistan if we have to.

The thing that saddens me is that even if we were to do that, so immature are we as a country that we will get into an argument about something or the other internally for sure. We were just not ready for independence when we got it. I am meandering a little bit, but that's where this mess has really stemmed from. Face it, we are still divided as a country, as a race, as a nation. This is nothing but encouragement for any terrorist outfit and attacks will continue to happen as long as we remain this way.

Let's not cry ourselves hoarse and blame government after government for the mess that we ourselves are responsible for. What could we have done do you ask? Well, what could anyone have done for that matter is what I ask you. You can argue for the sake of argument, but can you give me an answer to that question - if so, let's crown you king of India and see how many fingers are pointed at you when something does go wrong.


~ Hef.