Maikalal Jaikishen is no more

I have taken the liberty to see the lighter side of things when it comes to matters such as Michael Jackson's death. This post is not intended to hurt anyone's feelings (ill or otherwise) towards him. These are just my candid views on him, which I would have written when he was alive, but just that he came back into my circumspect just recently after his death. Here I go:

Questions I wanted to ask him if I could.

a) Why were you so desperate to be a white boy?
b) Were you a boy or did you go halfway through a sex change and then changed your mind?
c) With a face like that, how come you didn't make it to any horror movie?
d) Elizabeth Taylor?? What were you thinking?
e) I could never understand what you were saying in most of your songs (Bad, Thriller, etc.) Thank God for lyrics.com. Was that on purpose?
f) Why were you always inflicting self-pain upon yourself (read: catching hold of your crotch and yowling)?
g) I liked 'Heal The World' and 'Earth Song'. Why that spark of sanity?
h) You moonwalked your way to stardom and back again. How did you manage to make a mess out of such a great career?
i) Did you like what we did with one of your songs?
j) Any kids up there? (Readers - don't kill me for this one)

RIP MJ.