I'm A Golden Man: Bappi Lahiri

I just had to write a post about this historical, and hysterical interview with Koel. I watched this show on a Kingfisher flight and trust me, it was the best flight I had ever taken in my life. I watched 3 reruns of this show and favorited it on YouTube as well. This is for your entertainment. All spelling mistakes were on purpose and as per the vocabulary of Bappi Da :)

He was called Alokesh before he became 'famous Master Baapi' at the age of 4 because he was playing "classical tabla", but "he don't know when I am playing tabla" because his "mamma and his dads told me that you're so small so the crawling that time you want the tabla baaya like" Oh - he is also a "pianoist".

He agrees that either it is an exaggeration or that he is a child prodigy. - not clear from his statement.

He loves crooning, preferably his own songs.

He was not allowed to play cricket as a kid because his "finger will fracture"

He was given a "B" gold chain because he was "famous B"

He wore his first gold chain that was gifted to him by his 'Mamma' and "my Zakhmi became sooper heet"

He was a "follower" and "a practical fan of Elvis Presley with his round face" and that is why the fact that he was talented or his music evolved over time did not play a factor in his success as a music director.

He was a "brand brand I'm brand" before becoming a brand and all over the world he is known as "Bling Bling Bappi Lahiri"

Obviously, he gloats, "I'm A Golden Man"

He got Disco to Indian movies and croons out the number as well. Surprisingly, he says that 'Chalte Chalte' the title track is also a disco song, followed by 'Pyaar Manga Hai Tumhi Se'

In his famous American accent, he tells us how he learnt in an American club the word 'disco' originated. "No No No Disc playing - Disco - you understand?" That's what gave him the "correct words - Disco".

The director of Mithun's first blockbuster told him that he wants songs like "John Travolta, Bee Gees, with some Kungfu flavor", which is when he asked himself "How I will do?" and answers "OK, I will do". He then explains how Bruce Lee was so famous and almost says that he sang for Bruce Lee. The song was "mausam hai jeene ka .... grandmaster jeena" ??? Obviously, the song became a "sooper heet".

When Koel says that the song "I am a Disco Dancer" is a cult song, he forcefully says "All Songs!!!" Koel acquiesces.

Disco Dancer is actually "a history" because it's being used in a movie called "Don't Mess With The Zohaan with Adam Sand Lear" for using "Jimmy Jimmy".

He agrees that he borrowed from the West, but adds that he took "in 500 song 2 song and not like today's every song is plagarees". He also gives the example how "anyone can borrow Beyonce's song - touch me touch me touch me, touch me touch me touch me"

He flatters Koel by telling her that she is a star and that "everywhere this program is a soopper hit - couch"

He says he is the seniormost composer in the Hindi "fillum" industry like Lakshmikant Pyarelal, RD Burman, and Kalyanji Bhai. Asking him to compose with 2/3 other composers for the same "fillum" was a terrible insult to him, which is why he thought that he should go to Hollywood, where he worked hard for 2 years on "kaliyon ka chaman", which was in the top 3 of the American charts.

You will see him next in "a very beeg role with Salman Khan in Main Aur Mrs. Khanna" where he has also "sang a song". He plays a "very beeg myujikal-minded taicoon of Australia".

His latest music album (My Love) is "bhery secret" dedication to someone, for which he also has to "cross feenger".

He was a "teenagers" even when he was 23 when he married his wife.

Bappa, his son is "comeeng out very well" now and his 3rd "peecture is beecom very beeg heet".

He didn't participate in this year's general elections because he was "beezee in talent hunt show - international talent hunt show - fool month beezee". However, he gives his "laav and respect to Congress".

Bappi Da does not have "alcohol, pan, pan parag, no nothing. No addictation".

To his critics, "No No. anybody's telling me bad accent. That is why I am sitting here in golden - uh red couch, 36 years in Bollywood and everybody loves Bappil Lahiri. I want lao of junta and I want to be good human. Bappi Lahiri should be good human personality because you know I want to sing..." and there he breaks into yet another song.

His dream is to get "Grammy avaard".
His most humbling moment was in London when he met "Bittles group - that Paul, that John Ringo Paul"...." and adds when asked if he met the whole group, "not whole group, uh - that Paul Mackton."
Michael Jackson (RIP) met Bappi and asked him for his "Ganpati Baba chain"

He then gets reminiscent about getting Samantha Fox in Rock Dancer for "Touch Me, Touch Me, I feel your body", although the film did "not business, not business, but...".

He can instantly fall in love with "good myoojik".

His biggest regret is that his parents are "off".

His latest want is to work with the "latest Beyonce"

...and he signs off in classic style with a Bengali number and shows how he plagiarized it into a Hindi version.

Enjoy!

Movies Movies...and More Movies

Movie downloading fetish: 31 movies in 3 days, including 6-episode, dual-season TV Series and still counting.

That's what I've been upto over the last few days. Axxo, Klaxxon are some of the users that I am hounding since the last few days through Mininova.com to download movies using UTorrent (pronounced mew-torrent).

I haven't come across any titles that I haven't seen yet and believe me, I have seen a lot. Most of the 'must-watch-before-you-die' site recommendations talk about the same old stuff over and over again - 'The Godfather', 'The Lord Of The Rings', 'Taxi Driver', etc. Well, for one I already have most of these movies, and additionally, I find these artsy movies a bit of a drab.

I have been subjected to a lot of Hindi movies in the past and I like fast-paced (not necessarily the 'action', 'dhishum dhishum' kinds) movies. Comedies are my favourite and I don't mind thrillers and certain drama movies as well. Have looked all over for recommendations, but have found none. This is one of my attempts to get ideas from you folks out there.

Spare me the 'Shawshank Redemption', 'The Green Mile', 'Forrest Gump' kind of common movies. Don't get me wrong - those are terrific movies and ones that I'd die to watch, but am looking more for what's not common and those kind of movies that are heavily underrated. And I don't like art films, world movies, foreign language movies, musicals, black-and-white movies, pre-1960 movies, martial art, and mindless action movies.

Before you make any recommendations, a little bit about me - I am a movie freak in the true sense of the word...when I went to the States, I went with the sole purpose of buying DVDs from Amoeba and Rasputin in SFO. I ended up paying $300 in excess baggage, came back with 2 overflowing bags of DVDs, and currently possess a Godrej-full of movies collected from different sources. No - I don't lend movies, so stop wishing.

Now for suggestions in the following genres please:

Comedy (TV Series qualify for this genre as well)
Thriller
Drama
Mystery
Any other jaw-dropping stuff (no porn - I have my own preferences) :)

Give me as many. I have an insatiable appetite for this form of entertainment and the person with the most valid recommendations (movies that I eventually end up downloading/purchasing/owning) will get a one-time only, full-access to my movie collection which I will be posting on my blog shortly. Extra points for providing a download/purchase source. Please don't forget to state your name and email ID. You can email me directly as well if you feel that posting a list via this medium is too cumbersome.

10 points for each valid recommendation.

Thanks in advance.

~ Hef

We Love You, Tintin - and we miss you.

From my Father to Tintin:

When he came home he was barely an armful

Used to snuck into the tiniest space

The sound of a spoon in his favourite saucer

Prompted him to run a private race.

He frisked about and explored at will

Soon there wasn’t a corner unknown to him

He kept a tab on where everyone was

Lively and frolicsome right to the brim.

Biscuit time was just after dinner

And he’d long for just a tiny treat

Squatting  while we were having a snack

Quite often tripping our feet.

He travelled with us wherever we went

And adapted joyfully to each new place

Just to watch him explore around

Was enough to light up our face.

He was convinced that any packet that crackled

Contained biscuits of his very own

Every container that was opened

Would miraculously produce a bone.

Occasionally he would want to be pampered

And refuse to eat till fed by hand

Once I had knelt to feed him

He would gobble the food as if at a pizza stand.

He loved being scratched on the head

And would close his eyes during a tummy rub

Enjoyed getting wet and having a bath

Whether under a shower or in the tub.

When we returned from even the local store

He used to go mad and jump from place to place

And at the height of his ecstasy

His wet tongue would, by turns, slobber our face.

All in the neighbourhood  asked about Tintin

And for the local kids, he was a walking talking toy

Everyone knew him by name, sight and sound

He was a celebrity, the area’s blue-eyed boy.

The doorbell was his signal for going crazy

He welcomed every visitor with a rare elan

Anyone who met him fell in love with him

Whether another pet, woman, child, or man.

Running on the streets or garden

Was the pastime at which he excelled

Or pulling at a shoelace, running off with a sock

Or simply yanking at a leaf that we held.

He was very scared of loud noises

People shouting upset him too

He cowered and barked alternately

But in a jiffy was as good as new.

Wary of car rides when he was a baby

Preferred to stay in the comfort of home

But soon he became a veteran traveler

His adventures could easily fill a tome.

He’d amble upto me with loving eyes

Knowing exactly when I was upset or such

He’d gently nudge me with his paw

And that felt like no other healing touch.

He trusted me blindly and implicitly

Because his Bauji could never be wrong

Thunder and crackers terrified him

But he'd venture anywhere fearlessly if I went along.

Sometimes, when he was feeling low,

He would just come and stare

And as if our gazes were speaking

He told us what was wrong and where.

He lived a loving and carefree life

And knew the meaning of everything we said

The mention of some of his favourite things

Would make him sit up and cock his head.

He never left my side for nine years

Did anything that I asked him to

I never believed such a companion could exist

I was lucky to have a friend so true.

Happy with just a twig or a piece of string

He just gave and gave to all his everything

Total faith and companionship he knew best

Right until he opted for his final rest.

Funny how he always understood my every gesture

On my every command he would devotedly dwell

Except on that last fateful visit to the vet

When I asked him to return quickly and well.

The bushy tail wagging and thumping

Golden mane blowing in the breeze

Eyes staring adoringly at his loved ones

These are etched on my mind like a frieze.

One day he fell sick, but not a whine

Quietly accepting all that the medics would do

Just a moment ago he peeped in at my door

It’s sad that was his final adieu.

When he died I felt as if I had died too

For he treated me as if I was his father

And my two sons and wife he doted on

Just as they were his brothers and mother.

He made us know the meaning of love

And then said a silent goodbye

In so short a time he stole our hearts

And left us forever to remember and cry.

Little did I know till he was no more

What that noble soul meant to me

He lived in style and died in style

Everyone who knew him will agree.

Oh! I’d give anything just to hear his pant again

Or just smell his heady odour like an evergreen tree

Oh! To feel him cuddle up against my leg

To once more see his eyes gazing at me.

Never made a demand or even a fuss

Was loving and caring when even in pain

He was just a dog, but when men do the same

They are called saints or even Jesus by name.

Now his memory lives on in my heart

I wish him well in that new world of his

That tiny soul touched me like no-one else could

His friendship felt like the most wonderful kiss.

Goodbye, my friend – I’ll always  love you

We’ll meet soon, I promise from my heart,

When you see me just bark and wag your tail

That day no one will ever make us part.

Till then, take care, Tintin darling

And rest in peace knowing that I’ll always be your friend

Till then, play with the Lord and make him happy too

I’ll join you soon and we’ll chase each other again.

It's just not fair! We - The People.

By the way, today's post is being published while I am surfing on Tata Indicom's Photon+ Wireless Broadband Data Card (wow - didn't realize it was that long and complicated - and no, am not being paid to write that). Nice speed. 4/5 rating.

I was driving through Delhi today and passed along the most beautiful parts of Delhi - that's right - Akbar Road, Janpath, Aurangzeb Road, Africa Avenue, etc. There were many thoughts that came to my mind. Some of them were:

a) Crooked, dishonest, illiterate politicians get to stay in houses with sprawling lawns and state-of-the-art facilities, while a very very large proportion of regular, honest, hard-working, salaried individuals are paying 70-80 lakhs for a 1600 square feet apartment in Gurgaon. Don't even want to talk about Mumbai - not only because of 1600 sq feet (which is palatial in that city), but also because of the paltry sum of money, i.e. 70-80 lakhs, which is just about good enough to get you a pigeon coop in a decently located area in Mumbai.

b) Why is all the greenery in the godforsaken city of Delhi/NCR concentrated just around the houses of these losers? Isn't the rest of the population of the capital deserving enough to breathe good, clean air and live and experience decent surroundings?

c) If they have been elected by the people and want to do good for the people, why are they given houses that the same people who have elected them can never get access to? Forget the houses, the public can't even get access to the people whom they have elected.

d) Why do they get unlimited and uninterrupted water and power supply when the common man on the road or anywhere else for that matter is subjected to all the misfortune of no water and no power? Shouldn't they stand side-by-side of the people who have chosen them as their leaders?

If they can get clean air, water, electricity, why can't you and I?

Why can't the powers that be come and live among the people?

Have they forgotten the meaning of democracy? To refresh their memory, a democracy is for the people, by the people, and of the people. In this case, all 3 parameters seem to be missing. These elected representatives have become celebrities in their own right.

One might argue that since they are important people in our country, they need protection. Well, don't you and I need protection too? Why should we be subjected to all the dangers in the world and the people whom we have elected to protect us from these dangers lead a sheltered life? Why can't they face the same hardships that you and I face on a daily basis?

We gave them the right to lead and represent us. We however, did not give them the right to live like kings/queens while we suffer because of their shortcomings, incapable decisions, and corrupt minds.

Enough. Be one of us - be among us - face our difficulties - survive with us.

...And then, I returned to Gurgaon. That should explain all of this.

- Hef.